Finding my color in a black and white world.

Coping with illusion of polarity

I’ve always struggled to talk about myself, as I felt a lot of pressure to be something defined.

Am I liberal or conservative?

Am I supporting capitalism or am I a hippie?

Am I career driven or want to be a house wife?

Am I embracing AI or I think the progress is wrong?

Am I condemning Israel or am I supporting genocide?

Etc. Etc. Etc.

Sometimes in between these extremes, there’s space to be something in the middle — grey. 1 standard shade of grey. “Normal”.

There are no other options. You’re one or the other, maybe somewhere in between, as if each issue has only 1 dimension.

When you’re grey though, it’s like yyou don’t matter, there’s no “personal brand”, nothing that would grasp enough attention to make it easier to build a life outside the “normal”.

It pays off to be extreme. Black or white. Which side you’re on doesn’t even matter as long as you’re controversial and recognizable.

And it proved to be true in my life. The more defined I was, the easier it was to attract jobs, get people interested in my content and decide on what’s a path forward.

But the truth is… I’m not defined. When I’m putting these frames on me, they’re more limiting than empowering.

In today’s world, I’m just a colorful blob that doesn’t fit in.

Because where would I fit in if I can’t define myself clearly?

But that’s a reality that contemporary humans created for themselves. When I see the world around me, when I see how my mind works, how people from cultures see the same things through different lenses — the real world is extremely nuanced and complicated, has all shades of different colors.

I am evolving, changing. Sometimes I feel small, sometimes I’m a giant, sometimes I feel blue, sometimes I’m shining. And so are you.

And that’s not a sellable personal brand, but maybe it’s just time for me to accept that I won’t have one. At least not in the current understanding of it.